HoW We Survive

Welcome to How We Survive, an online resource for survivors of suicide.  


A community for survivors of suicide.


Our journal of survival.


Julie Varley


    By Nancy Hiron


The Early Months

I am sitting in my chair watching television.

It’s been three months since Pete’s passing.

I keep expecting Pete to come around the edge of

The patio doors saying “joke!” with a big grin on his face.

This expectation stayed with me for at least 6 months.


The Note

Pete did not leave a note. How much I had wished for an “I love you Mom” note.

He would have been psychotic at the time and I knew that.

It is now five years since Pete’s passing.

I stopped searching for the note last year.



It is an impossible task being left to reconcile the suicide of your child.

I have devoted five years to reconciling Pete’s death.

I could have been a lawyer by now for all the arguments I’ve settled in my mind.


I have surfaced from these murky times,

 Five years later,

 A much more humane human being.

And I am alive.

And I have joy.


  • Nancy Hiron




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